Hurting..

                 Hurting

Im hurt

I can not go to the doctor and get it fixed.

I cry myself to sleep, and friends and family say they understand

Truth is they don’t understand, and they never will.

I was always worried about being alone

But for me alone has come early.

Appointments monthly are getting pointless

No matter where I go answers are always a don’t know.

Last month I took Met, this month I’m taking Spiro

I bet the meds list will never end.

I quit drinking, quit eating, quit smoking

Whats next? Quit living? Well it seems that’s the road Im on.

I need to talk to someone, I am hurt

I do not know where to go from here.

Talking to the doctors is not working

I can no longer feel so alone.

I feel that if this nightmare progresses I will be lost

Lost in the world

Will anyone stand by me

Does anyone care

I am now told that I need antidepressants

This is not me

I used to love to go out, have friends over, wake up

I just can not pull myself together.

I am twenty three, but I feel like I am seventy nine

Every birthday is another one Im thankful for because it hasn’t happened yet

Take the mirrors down, throw out the brushes and never wear white

I am losing my hair, and there is nothing I can do,I am hurt.